Ann Nyberg, far left, news anchor of WTNH-TV, moderating the panel that consisted of 9/11 survivors and surviving family members, including, from left, Bonnie McEneaney, Brian Lavigne, Mary and Frank Fetchet, and 9/11 responder Guy Fortt. — Vanessa Van Ryzin photo
They sat side by side, five people devastated to varying degrees by 9/11, reflecting on their lives then and now.
Mary and Frank Fetchet lost their son, Bradley. Bonnie McEneaney lost her husband, Eamon. First responder fireman Guy Fortt futilely searched the rubble for signs of life on the day after. Survivor Brian Lavigne found a way out of a tower, barely in time.
Together they were on a panel, Personal Reflections: Responding to and Recovering from Acts of Terrorism, part of Remembrance, Renewal and Resilience, commemorating the 15th anniversary of 9/11, held at Grace Farms on Monday, Sept. 12, 2016.
The event was also to salute the success of the Voices of September 11th organization [Voices], which sprung to life after 9/11 when the Fetchets decided that current and future families and communities need organized support services after tragedies.
On this day, in calm tones, the group told their stories to a rapt audience of about 250 people. Two other panels would follow, but it was this one, with all but Fortt being New Canaan residents, that was the most powerful and emotional.
Frank Fetchet joined the Voices team in 2005 as a full-time volunteer, overseeing grants, partnership agreements, corporate and foundation sponsorships and other fundraising strategies. He retired from IBM after almost 33 years.
“The support we got after 9/11 was incredible,” he said. “People swarmed our house. I remember I would put the alarm system on at night, and when I’d wake up the house would be buzzing with people. I think everyone in town knew the combination to get into our home. I want to thank everyone who has shown us support over the years.
“There was life before 9/11 and after 9/11. Before 9/11, it was high school sweethearts, kids and a nice career. After 9/11… we’re not wired to bury a child. I’ve thought about it a lot. If I could have gotten into a boxing ring with god for awhile I would have initially, because I thought to myself, gee, I haven’t been an angel but I haven’t done anything that bad. How could this happen to us? I got my head around that over time.
“Giving back as a volunteer is good for the soul. It’s a lot more important than when I worked at IBM and made a big deal.”
Mary Fetchet co-founded Voices in 2001 following the death of Bradley. She has testified before the 9/11 Commission and U.S. Congress on five occasions. Her work has received national recognition.
“I think we are doing well,” she said. “I was a social worker at the time, several years before 9/11. I know what it’s like to lose a son to a terrorist attack. I feel a responsibility to move the message forward.
“I felt sad and naive, and I think most Americans thought that something like that could never happen on our soil. Now I think it’s important for everyone to be better informed. Not being aware is a big problem.”
Guy Fortt served in the Greenwich Fire Department for more than 26 years. He volunteered during the search and rescue mission the day after 9/11.
“As a firefighter our job is to help save lives and protect lives,” he said. “24 hours after 9/11 we got down there. It’s like when you go into fires. You have to prepare yourself. I wasn’t afraid. You just go do it.
“What I remember was a sea of metal. Debris and concrete all over the place. I was fortunate to find a young man in a ball shape, fully intact. I thought he was alive, but then saw that he was deceased. It was good to see a whole person. Do you understand what I’m saying? I didn’t see a whole chair, a whole desk. Everything was shredded. A sea of metal and debris.
“Tragedy has been a part of my life. Before I became a firefighter I was a victim of domestic violence. A young lady I was dating at the time, her ex-boyfriend came in and murdered her, right in front of me. It got me into firefighting. I needed to know how to save lives. I didn’t know what to do then. I was 20 years old. I said that I would never, ever again have someone fall in front of me and not know what to do. I learned CPR and how to save lives.”
Bonnie McEneaney wrote the book Messages: Signs, Visits and Premonitions from Loved Ones Lost on 9/11. She is a past recipient of the YWCA Woman of the Year award.
“Eamon was on 105th floor of the North Tower,” she said. “He almost didn’t go in that day because he wasn’t feeling well. I was in my car and heard an announcer’s voice escalating on the radio. A plane had hit the tower. I called my office and my assistant said that Eamon had just called. He said he was going to try to get out. He was in the tower in ’93 so I had heard this before, and he was able to get out of the tower then [when a truck bomb detonated, killing six and injuring 1,000]. He said he thought a small plane had hit the building. He said he loved us.
“I missed that call. I started to process what I was hearing from her. I worked at MasterCard then. There was a huge crowd in my office. They pulled a TV out to watch, and the tower fell. You start the process. You’re in some other zone. The rest is history.
“What happens to people who lost a loved one, or were a survivor or first responder, 9/11 becomes part of your identity. You have to do something positive to get yourself out of that abyss, because it’s on you and with you every single day of your life, whether you like it or not. And every year we have the anniversary, which is great because people remember. It’s a wonderful thing for us. I spent five years writing my book. The proceeds went to Voices.
“I interviewed 200 families on their spiritual experiences associated with the loss of their loved ones. What I found was, the number one thing that helped them process the bereavement they were going through, was that they were still connected, and that love in the strongest force in the universe. It’s invincible, it’s unbreakable. If someone dies, and passes over the divide, it doesn’t mean we love them any less; we’re still connected to them. Anger gets us nowhere. Love brings us together.”
Brian Lavigne worked that day and still works at Morgan Stanley, as a financial advisor.
“I was on the 60th floor,” he said. “It was a Tuesday morning. Every Tuesday we had a meeting. The meeting went late. Some of us went down to the cafeteria. The 44th floor was the transfer lobby. We looked out the window and saw that something terrible had happened. We went down the stairwell and got to the concourse. We made our way outside. We looked up and saw the second plane hit. Pieces of the building landed 10 or 15 feet from us. I’ll never forget, a police officer told us to come back in. We went back into the concourse. I got out when a friend showed me an underpass in the concourse that came out on the other side of the street. We came out, looked up and walked north.
“Over the years I realized you struggle being a survivor. Why am I here? You feel responsible for people who didn’t get out.”
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